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Tohru-chan's Characters:
Bikini Expo 2013 - ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
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For reasons that I've never been able to understand, my dear friend and gaming partner Tohru has been less than receptive to my perfectly reasonable requests to let me take exploitive and sexist photos of her characters wearing those classy dancer costumes that are often included with the Cartel Packs.
Luckily for everyone involved, my character Jahnn, self-proclaimed lady's man and deft hand at Pazak, stepped in to resolve the situation with the five ladies directly. A series of Pazak games with each lady in turn (Nar Shadaa Rules, naturally), and Tohru's five characters found themselves in the unenviable position of being at the unscrupulous card-counter's mercy.
When faced with such awesome power over five beautiful women, what's an honorable Jedi Knight to do? Grab a holo-recorder and publish a swimsuit gallery, of course!
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All images in these galleries may be clicked on, to open a larger full-sized version of the image in a new window.
Content Last Updated 2013-04-05
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 In the cool, intimate embrace of Tython's forests we find Ra'r'tee, an accomplished Jedi and dedicated historian. Her surprise at seeing Jahnn wielding a holo-recorder was initially discomforting to the adorably self-conscious Jedi scholar.
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 The innocent young Jedi seems less than prepared to bear all for our loyal viewers. "Come on now, you lost the game," Jahnn coaxes. "You aren't going to go back on your word, are you?" The appeal to honor is successful, and the dutiful Twi'lek accedes. Cautiously.
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 The cool forest colors compliment Ra'r'tee's natural hue, as we see our first close-up of our shy little Jedi, still not sure what she's gotten herself into. Her puppy-dog pout, while formidable, proves to be no match for Jahnn's dedication to the cause of bringing her beauty to the masses!
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 It doesn't take long for Ra'r'tee's sense of fashion to get the best of her, however, and soon she's caught up in the moment. Some earnest encouragement is all it takes for the lovely Twi'lek to start coming out of her shell and show off the results of years of physical training!
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 The cool, soothing breezes and nice warm sun are relentless. And at last, Ra'r'tee surrenders to the beauty of the forest, at peace with the world around her and her special place within it.
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 The clicking of a holo-recorder doesn't distract her revere for even a moment as our Jedi Princess discovers the joys of nature. And and perhaps naturalism.
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And now, the shoot completed and our time on the lovely Tython depleted, our newly-discovered Jedi glamour princess bids us a fond farewell. Master Jahnn must continue his mission elsewhere...
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 The spanning plains and dunes of mysterious Korriban hide many tempting treasures... including the lithe crimson-skinned Sith Sorceress, Siri'ous. Confoundingly, Jahnn's explanation of the penalty for losing Nar Shadaa rules Pazak does not elicit enthusiasm.
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 But idle threats of electric death are laid quickly to rest as Jahnn reveals that his enterprise has the (all-male) Dark Council's unilateral approval, and now it's time for Siri'ous to become presentable for our holo-recorder.
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 Appreciation of physical beauty is not a concept that the angered but lovely Sith Pureblood is familiar with, but she does make a concerted effort to fulfill her obligations to Jahnn... Just don't ask her to like it!
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 Or maybe we spoke too soon? Whatever her protests, when the mood music is queued, we discover the powerful Sith Master to also be an accomplished natural dancer!
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 A nice low zoom-in demonstrates the seductive power of the Dark Side, and Siri is smug in her display of her toned curves. All rumors of Inquisitors being less physically-fit than their Warrior counterparts are instantly dispelled!
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 Siri continues to command our holo-recorder with the sheer power of her swaying hips, lovely crimson skin contrasting warmly with the cool blue of her costume. There's a grace here that is rarely seen from the Sith... and we find ourselves honored to be allowed to record it for posterity.
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 Only a fool toys with a viper, but Jahnn knows a one-in-a-million opportunity when his holo-recorder is pointed at it. The mysterious Sith woman continues to reveal a secret side to herself that her Korriban peers could never have guessed existed, and the stunned look on her photographer's face only seems to embolden the dark young woman.
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 Siri'ous's response when asked if she'd be open to the idea of more candid holo-images, however, is both subtle and succinct, but observant Jahnn quickly picks up on her gentle hints. Another successful photoshoot completed, and Jahnn's mission beckons him forever onward! And out of the range of Force Lightning discharges.
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SAYA'KA
Ord Mantell Cantina
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 "Oh no, not again," is the obvious thought on Republic Commando Saya'ka's mind, as she glimpses Jahnn approach with holo-recorder in hand. Bearing her radiant figure to settle a gambling debt is a situation she finds eerily familiar, but our lovely Lieutenant is resigned to honor her obligations..
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 The dance floor of the Ord Mantell cantina may be cold, but the body standing on it is anything but! Saya'ka readies herself as Jahnn takes an establishing shot of her stylish new outfit.
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 But as the pictures are snapped and the evening crowd applauds, our Lieutenant's resolve to keep to her word holds true. Even as her face betrays a pensive feeling towards Jahnn's attentions, she can't deny how flattering her costume is to her figure.
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 Saya'ka relents as the music booms through the dark, intimate cantina, allowing Jahnn to capture a side (or two or three) of the trim, toned Mirialan few are likely to have ever been privy to before.
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 Our brave soldier concentrates on tuning out the world around her, but the music commands her more surely than any CO's orders ever have. Despite herself, Saya'ka can't help but admit to some amusement to the extent of Jahnn's enterprise.
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 And why shouldn't a career woman be proud enough of her body to show it off a little on occasion, she asks? We certainly agree that there's nothing here to be ashamed of!
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And Saya'ka ends her show with a masterful flourish, to the applause of a cantina full of her new fans! Tomorrow it might be back to hunting down traitors to the Republic, but tonight this lovely Lieutenant's only concern is the adoration of the masses.
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 And with all obligations now honorably fulfilled, Saya'ka is freed to continue her own mission. Dismissed, Lieutenant, and audiu!
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 A bounty hunter lives or dies by her reputation; renowned mercenary Mami is painfully aware of this, and of how her reputation will suffer if she refuses to make good on a Pazak debt. Jahnn is clearly playing with fire this time, but his bravery in the cause of getting pretty ladies into skimpy clothes will not be denied.
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 "And here I thought bounty hunters were supposed to be experts at subterfuge," Jahnn plies. "You can't even pretend to be a dancer girl!" The words have barely left his treacherous mouth before Mami is already dressed and ready to prove him wrong. It is on!
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 While not known for its scenic vistas or photogenic geography, Hutta's best-kept secret is its pulsing night-life. It's a fitting scene for our dancer-under-cover.
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 Half-lidded eyes and coy smile expertly affected, Mami immediately puts the lie to Jahnn's words. Suddenly her stance and demeanor are full of an exotic grace only the most famous of dancers are known for.
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 Chiss are mysterious, unknowable... and absolutely fabulous dancers! Jahnn is hard-pressed to believe that this is all still an act, as the joy on his mercenary subject's face shines as brightly as her red alien eyes.
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 The extent of Mami's dedication to her role is fully illustrated as she shows off the beautiful curves of a body that's usually so woefully hidden under layers of armor and padding. Poses like this can't be faked!
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Jahnn is left with no choice but to conceed the point to Mami, and to withdraw his accusation. Mami's honor is assuaged; sweet victory! She sure showed us, all right.
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Kyou'ko
Ord Mantell, Garnik Mountains
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 While most of the subjects Jahnn has worked with today have required some gentle persuasion to step into their temporary role of bikini-clad holo-vid model, seasoned world-weary smuggler Kyou'ko has been around enough times to know that when it comes to Pazak (especially Nar Shadaa rules), it's better to just throw yourself into it and get it over with.
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 After all, being forced to wear a skimpy dancer costume out in full view of the public over a gambling debt to a dishonest card-counter is far from the worst scrap this plucky lady's ever gotten herself into. After you've had your freighter hijacked a few times, a little holo-vid just isn't that big a deal.
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 There's a hidden serenity to Kyou'ko's posture as she stands proudly before the holo-recorder; this is a woman who knows how good she looks, even if she's never needed to put a point on it before. Her smugness, we feel, is totally justified.
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 Perpetually full of surprises, Kyou'ko reveals a hidden soul of a dancer as she performs a flawless pirouette! Why would a hardened smuggler ever learn such a skill, we asked? "Well, it doesn't seem so pointless right now, does it?" Point made, Kyou'ko, point made.
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 Our transporter of elicit goods demonstrates the subtleties of proper hip movement, exhibiting surprising control over her costume's loincloth. If we didn't know better, we'd say she was doing this on purpose.
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 But it's all fun to Kyou'ko, who's enjoying photographer Jahnn's stunned reactions as much as we're enjoying her lovely poses. A twist of the hips, a sway to the legs, a few more pictures... and Kyou'ko is free and clear!
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 Jahnn is exuberant in his thanks; it's always a joy to work with a dedicated model. "Back at you," our cute little smugger responds... before executing a perfectly-aimed Dirty Kick on our intrepid holo-vidding Jedi. That seems to be our cue, and our time on this planet with the last of our lovely models is done. And as we sign off we leave one final message for our loyal viewers...
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APRIL FOOLS, TOHRU-CHAN! :D
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